Anything in bold italics is recounted here exactly as it was originally notated.
Nov 7, 2011
Some lady was yapping about getting dysentery from tomatoes.
Because, you know....that's a thing. Looking back, I could have had much more sucess with my Oregon Trail games of years past.
Events of November 15, 2011
1. Homeless man shows us his pubic hair while demanding bread and butter
2. Homeless man asks for can opener to indulge in his can of corn. After being told that we don't carry can openers, a guest demands that we bring his can to the kitchen to open it.
3. An innocent young girl, sitting at table 10.got her purse stolen from the back of her chair. A car that was passing by told her that a lady just grabbed her purse. The young girl ran down Broadway to see the old lady toss her purse in the trash.
4. A woman left the bathroom door open while relieving her lady parts. Not unlocked, OPEN.
Wow. Evidently November 15 was a hell of a day. I think I may actually need to dedicate a future entry to all the weird shit that people do in our bathrooms. Because...I mean...there was the woman who used to go in and change her juicy leg bandages, the guy who used to shit all over the floor, the people who just didn't lock the door, and of course that woman body-checked a guy who was politely waiting in line for the bathroom and started screaming "You can't go before me!!!"
I guess we'll do one more flashback story before we close for the weekend. Real quick:
November 17, 2011
A woman at 46 looks at the specials and asks, "Is this food?"
No, bitch it's a fuckin practical joke. We just PRETEND to have food, to mess with your head. "Bouillabaisse" is actually code for "something that is totally not food, and I'm just going to bring you a can of Febreeze instead."
I swear to god, writing this blog I'm going to run out of eye roll gifs.
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